“If I chose to keep my scars, you can, too.”
Jesus whispered those words into my spirit as I was lying in bed one night—thinking too much about things past and wishing they’d just go away. I was a little stunned when He said those words but also comforted. Comforted by the fact that He said “scars” and not “wounds,” meaning healing really is possible; but also, a little uneasy because scars are still visible, and they come with a process and with stories.
Trust.
What a short, yet profoundly powerful word. Trust implies rest. Trust implies security. Trust implies safety and contentment.
I think we can all admit that we are all a little imperfect sometimes…
We lose our temper at our kids, we blame our spouse, we gossip with a friend, we lie to our boss to avoid the consequence of a mistake we need to own up to.
The list of imperfections can go on and on but the point is we all make mistakes; some days a lot, some days not as much. But that’s why God’s grace is so wonderful! That’s why the conviction of the Holy Spirit is welcomed because it helps us to make things right. If we allow, our mistakes can teach us one of Jesus’ most wonderful characteristics–humility.
This year, my husband and I have been going through the One-Year Bible together, and we were recently reading the story of Samson in Judges. As we were reading, I was amazed by how much anger and revenge was stored in Samson, as well as how many mistakes he had made. Yet God still used him. God made him a Judge that helped deliver the Children of Israel for 20 years.
I was pondering the entire time, “Wow, he was such an imperfect leader.”
Then I got thinking about all the other leaders in the Bible such as Paul and Peter, and I also couldn’t help but think, “wow, they were also imperfect leaders!” Paul accused and killed Christians before he met Jesus. He also had interpersonal issues with Barnabas that caused them to temporarily split paths. Paul openly admits in 1 Timothy 1:13-16:
“Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief.
The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners–of whom I am the worst.
But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.” (NIV)
Paul acknowledges his past faults, his mistakes, his old man; his flesh. Yet Paul doesn’t stay there. He doesn’t identify with the flesh anymore. Paul is the “in Christ” theologian. There are 130 In Whom, In Christ, In Him and In the Lord references in Paul’s writings. He strongly acknowledged that everything he was as a Christian leader was because of Christ. He knew who he was IN Christ BECAUSE of Christ. He lived in the Spirit through the overflow of the Spirit. He displayed humility through the acknowledgment of his own imperfections that are covered by the perfection of Christ.
As I’ve been pondering this more, I was thinking about a time in college I was in a very influential leadership position. Before the position, I was just a fellow college student happily studying and enjoying my peers. But after I accepted the position, I realized people who wouldn’t talk to me before all of a sudden wanted to hang out. People whom I had never met started to come up and talk to me like we were best friends. It really threw me off, and honestly, it bothered me.
As I began to sit down with some people and share my life, my struggles and my story like I always had in friendships before, people began to say, “Wow, I didn’t realize you struggled with insecurities, too!”
…WHAT?! How could I not? I’m human! But I’m thankful for that experience because God taught me a really powerful lesson during that time. He said, “Hanna, most humans go through the exact same struggles at some point in their lives. Use leadership to show humility and shatter pedestals people may be putting you on without your permission…and shatter the pedestals in your life, too.”
Why? Because I’m imperfect. I will never deserve a pedestal. Only Jesus, the only perfect leader who will NEVER let us down, deserves a pedestal. Paul shattered his pedestal, and God used him mightily. Samson didn’t shatter his pedestal and his strength actually ended up being his death, but God used him anyway.
So, dear heart, first off. Acknowledge your imperfections, and through it realize Christ’s perfection and how you are seen as righteous before God. Then, shatter your pedestals. Whether it’s ones you’ve put your leaders on, or it’s a pedestal someone has put you on. Embrace humble leadership. Embrace Christ-centered, servant-driven leadership. Keep God on the pedestal, and ask others to join you as you worship the only One who deserves praise.
Read also: THE TREASURE WITHIN
Have you ever heard the saying, “you are what you eat?”
Although that refers to health and I 100% agree with healthy eating equating healthy outcomes, the Lord recently reframed that saying to me and said, “Hanna, you are what you say–externally and internally.”
I thought about that for a moment and remembered that wasn’t the first time Jesus said that. He told the same thing to some Pharisees in Matthew 15 where He says, “Listen and understand. What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.” (v. 10-11)
I’m just going to drop that bomb on you and let it sit for a little bit. Don’t keep reading quite yet. Read the line over and over and over. Let it sit and convict and heal and give hope.
I was recently in a discussion with some dear, unbelieving friends about the goodness of God. Their seven-month old son is dealing with some severe disabilities and if I’m being honest, as someone who has suffered recently and had her own doubts, it was a hard conversation to have.
As I woke up this morning, I could feel an attitude of doubt and ungratefulness start to loom over me, but Daddy kindly spoke, “My goodness does not depend on your attitude.”
Wow. Let me tell you, that definitely gave me a quick attitude adjustment. As I meditated on it more, I was reminded about a phrase the Lord gave me a couple years back. It was also in a time of suffering when I lost my community, a dear friend, my father got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and my grandfather was about to die. In that time the Lord said, “Hanna, no matter what happens on this side of eternity, in the end it’s all the same glory.”
That statement reminded me of passages in Romans 8 that reads:
“The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs–heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. For I consider that the suffering of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us…Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?…No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” (v. 16-18; 35, 37, ESV)
You know what Paul is saying here?
He says if we are to take our place as heirs with Christ and children of God. We’ll suffer. That’s not the sweet, gentle, soft gospel you’ll here in many churches, but it’s the real-life gospel. Even if we love Christ with all our hearts we still experience loss and death. But what does this suffering lead to? GLORY.
What God was speaking to me two years ago and reminded me of this morning was this: “Hanna, change your perspective. As my child, because of Christ, you now live with an eternal perspective and not just a single lifespan. Death is hard, but its not final. JESUS FINISHED THAT. All suffering is rooted in fear of death–you don’t live under that spirit of slavery anymore.
Death isn’t the finish line, rather it’s the gateway to what you’re really made for.
What’s happening to you in the present time isn’t even worth comparing to what is to come in eternity. You can always be a conqueror, even when you feel
WOW. Now that’s the gospel. That’s the truth. No matter how easy (we have two cars, a home, a loving family and retire at 65) or hard (we’re born into poverty in 3rd world circumstances surrounded by death, disease and war) our life is, with Christ the end is always the same, wonderful glory. When we love and pursue Christ–it doesn’t matter what this present world brings us, or what our perspective and/or attitude is, because the end is always eternal pleasure in His Presence.
And that statement is what I want to tell my friends. God’s goodness is eternal and never changing. Being a Christian doesn’t mean you don’t suffer–but you have hope in the midst of suffering because with Christ, you always have a happy ending. Because with Christ, death is a victory–not a defeat. Fear and worry don’t have a legal hold on us anymore–because with Christ, we are more than conquerors and nothing in this world or the world to come can change that…now that’s the true, eternal goodness of God!
You sit in heavenly places, dear ones. Take your rightful place alongside Christ. Let your royalty and your authority as a daughter of the eternal King set the tone for your circumstances; and always remember–this isn’t all there is. There’s always so much more.
In the end it’s all the same glory.
Read also: Where is your God now?
Hey! Guess what?
You can’t do it.
Whatever that “it” is for you. Be it a degree, a career, motherhood, a skill, a relationship, a leadership position, moving across the world; whatever it is: you are inadequate. If it is outside of the calling of God, you are inadequate. If you are pursuing things aside from God, then it’s rooted in selfish ambition and pride.
Then why does He call us to do really terrifying, scary things? Why does God give us big tasks when we are inadequate?
First off, it is to purge us of insecurities. I’ve been reading through Exodus and I’ve been hung up on the part with the burning bush. Where God meets Moses with something so common (a bush) but makes it entirely uncommon (it burns without being consumed). And you know what has caught my eye and convicted my core? Moses’ answers to God’s instruction and miracles:
“Who am I to appear before Pharoah? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?” (3:11)
“What if they won’t believe me or listen to me? What if they say, ‘The Lord never appeared to you’?” (4:1)
“But Moses pleaded again, ‘O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled. (4:10; emphasis added).
“But Moses again pleaded, ‘Lord, please! Send anyone else.’ (4:13)
After reading Moses responses, I thought, “Wow. Here was Yahweh speaking directly to Moses through a constantly burning bush and he still doubts FOUR TIMES.” Then I was convicted because I know the Lord has instructed me to do scary things and I’ve doubted far more than four times–but He was still patient and gracious.
Isn’t easy to get stuck in our own head? We really are our worst critic. We often receive insults as truth before we receive encouragement. We allow the devil’s voice of doubt to reign before the Truth of God. That was even present in the garden, when Satan slithered at Eve, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit?” (Gen. 3:1). Doubt was at the root of the first sin.
We let insecurities fog our calling and our dreams–but God wants to shine through that. He says, “Yes, you are merely human, but I can make a path for you. If you let Me, I will direct your steps!” We can only go so far on our own. In our salvation, going on our own meant the Law and animal sacrifice–but Jesus overshadowed all our inadequacies with his Power and has given us that same Power, The Holy Spirit.
“We are confident in all this because of our great trust in God through Christ. It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God. He has enabled us to be ministers of the new covenant.” (2 Cor. 3:4-6).
The second reason God calls us to do scary things is to display HIS adequacy through our inadequacy. It brings us to a place of humility where we say, “Woah. There’s no way I could have done that. That was God.” From the gift of initial salvation to living out our salvation through pursuing Jesus into scary, impossible but God-glorifying things, God lifts us up in His glory. He silents those insecurities and whispers “I’ve got you, so you’ve got this.”
And you know what? Moses successfully led the Israelites out of Egypt, under the exact circumstances God had promised. Now, the Israelites
So, dear heart, what are you going to do with your burning bush? Are you going to listen to insecurities, doubts and smother the bush? Or will you let it’s flame, His flame, spark your heart into action and passion?
It’s up to you. The Lord is only awaiting your YES.
Read also The treasure within
“And when He (Jesus) had finished speaking, He said to Simon, ‘Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.’ And Simon answered, ‘Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word, I will let down the nets.”-Luke 5:4-5
Do you ever feel like you’re digging a perpetual hole? Toiling, sweating, giving everything and never being satisfied? Maybe it’s with your work. Maybe it’s in a relationship. Maybe it’s in your finances. Or maybe it’s a God-dream that you’re trying to make happen because He promised it to you?
“We toiled all night and took nothing…”
I can imagine you know exactly how that feels. To work so hard (sometimes even through the night) only to see you wasted time and didn’t get anywhere. It’s aggravating, isn’t? I like to imagine how Simon felt (or at least how I would have felt if I were him) in the moment when Jesus told him to go back out and fish. Maybe he was thinking, “Alright holy-rabbi-teacher-carpenter-dude who probably knows nothing about fishing. We’ll give it another try—but you’ll see!”
Yet in that moment, Simon Peter was granted the humbling experience of seeing God follow through in His seemingly illogical yet good instructions. He not only heard, but experienced that Jesus’ words are always true.
Luke continues,
“And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking…But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees…” (v. 6, 8)
Jesus didn’t have to bless Simon Peter to the point of breaking—but He did. Jesus desired his
There’s something terrifying and beautiful about “go” seasons; times in life when Jesus moves things quickly and things start to fall into place. I’m currently in a season of waiting for God to say “GO.” I know this because I’ve felt resistance when I’ve tried to make moves on my own. And I’ll admit, this is very different and difficult for me. I’ve always been someone who pushed open doors and just let God close the ones He didn’t want open. But now He’s saying, “Hanna, be patient, I’m going to open up this door Myself this time.”
Sometimes in life, there is resistance from the devil but you push forward because you’ve heard God’s instruction to do so. But other times, we try to go our own way and feel resistance because God hadn’t yet said to do so—and we toil for nothing. Anything done outside of the purpose of God’s Kingdom and eternity is pointles because anything outside of God’s Kingdom and eternity will fade away. He gives important tasks to be done in His timing and instruction.
After that humbling experience, Simon Peter saw that Jesus was one to be trusted. So he dropped everything immediately and followed Christ. They didn’t take the fish with them. They didn’t try and say, “Lord, let us sell these fish you’ve blessed us with so we can use that money on our travels with you.” No. The Lord said go, so they immediately let go of everything and pursued Jesus. And that last part? That’s the key. Whether you’re in a season of movement and excitement or you’re in one full of waiting, rooting and asking questions; you still pursue Jesus. You drop everything—the blessing, the doubt, the excitement, the frustration—and pursue Jesus. Because we can find discontentment in any and every season of life if we aren’t passionately loving Him.
Seasons of full nets or empty nets shouldn’t determine our mood and choices either—only Jesus should. I know I’m convicted of not letting Christ’s love dictate my emotions, choices, dreams and life-purpose. But when we surrender, worship, obey and love, He blesses us to the point of breaking. With His love in our hearts and His perspective in our minds, we can see that blessing in all seasons.
So let’s focus our eyes on Jesus—and see the blessing in every season given to us. Let’s wait, pray, love each other and chase the dreams God’s placed in our hearts. And let’s encourage other women to do the same.
Read also Seasons of life
I was having coffee with a friend a couple years ago, when she said something that really rocked my world… She said, “One of the biggest revelations God has given me is realizing that presence is the greatest gift you can ever give anyone.”
Do you ever have a word or a phrase that keeps coming back to you over and over? An anthem, lesson or truth that the Holy Spirit keeps putting in your path that He wants to solidify in your spirit? I’ve been having a word come up all around me these last weeks. Hope!
Recently I was talking with someone and they shared about how our eyes lead us. Where we look, what we look at–ultimately that is where we are going.