I’ve been thinking a lot about the future lately. As I’m nearing my thirties, the things that I haven’t yet done are becoming more evident. The house that I haven’t yet bought. The husband that I haven’t yet found. The kids I want so desperately but haven’t yet had. The degree I haven’t yet earned. With each passing month comes a new realization of how fast time is going, and the feeling of a life that is seemingly passing me by.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4
I haven’t always been the best person. I haven’t always walked in faith. I haven’t always known grace.
Someone once asked me, “If God were looking at you right now, what do you think He would say?” In that moment, I instantly thought about all of the sins I’ve committed, all of the people I’ve hurt, all of those moments where I couldn’t believe I just did/said that. You know, everything I had done wrong.
A large portion of my life has been spent battling insecurity. I spent years listening to the voices that told me I was unlovable. That I wasn’t enough, that I was too much; that I was dumb and ugly, too soft and not worthy. The list could go on and on. I was told so many times who I was by others that, after a while, I started to believe them.
You are loved. You are worthy. You are not forsaken.
Jesus tells us this time and time again in the Bible, but in the midst of life’s trials, it is so easy to forget.