“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4
The Goodness in Grief
Every girl’s first love is her father. My dad wasn’t only my first love, he was also my hero. Dad was a hard-working man with a care-free spirit. He was always dancing and singing or making someone laugh. He loved life and he loved God. Oh, how he loved God. Even during the last few months of his life, when he was in and out of the ICU and fighting his way through
chemotherapy, Dad never missed a chance to praise Jesus. When the doctors put a limit on his life, his simple response was, “Only God knows when it’s my time.”
From a young age, he instilled in my brother and me just how important our faith was; and it’s that same faith that we
so desperately cling to now.
He Has a Purpose
The loss of daddy has been an incomprehensible blow, one that we were aware was coming but could have never been prepared for. Our faith has been shaken. Shaken, not shattered. At times, I have found myself wanting to yell and scream out to God. On more than one occasion over the last few weeks, I have questioned His will. I have cried out to Him, asking him “Why?!” But even during those fleeting moments of anger, I know He has a purpose.
Friends and family continue to reassure us that daddy is in a better place. He’s with Jesus. No more pain, no more suffering. They tell us stories about him, remind us of the good man he was. We take comfort in these heartfelt condolences, but still; when you’re sitting in the middle of grief, it’s so hard to see past your pain much less focus on all the things that you know to be true. Thankfully, we have a God who sees when we can’t.
I’ve struggled with how to go about this, with how to tell someone who is grieving that their pain has purpose, that there IS goodness in it, when I am walking with a broken heart myself. But this I know: God doesn’t call us to do what is easy. He calls us to do what is necessary, to speak His truth.
I won’t pretend to know the pain you’re facing. Every person’s situation is different, no one’s grief process is the same, but I have asked myself a thousand times over the same questions that are probably plaguing your mind right now.
If you’re asking yourself if your loved one knows how much you loved them, rest assured they do. They knew it at the beginning just as they did in the end. God is holding their hand and showing them everything they need to see.
If you’re wondering if God still hears you, He does. He hears every painstaking cry you yell, every prayer you send. Though it’s hard to believe right now, He has not forgotten you. You are seen, you are heard, and you are oh so loved. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
If you’re questioning if God is still good. He is. With all the pieces of my broken heart, I tell you with full confidence that He is. Isaiah 66:9 tells us, “I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord.” His ways are always greater. His plans are always higher.
My relationship with my dad is not over. His life is not over. In fact, it’s just begun. I will always be his daughter, and I am proud of this. I am proud to walk through this life with a part of him in everything I do, and I know that he will be watching over me and guiding me every step of the way. Grief, after all, is just love. And love lasts forever.
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